Jan 17
How being a twin girls father has improved my work as a lead developer
This is my first article in medium and in English so I really appreciate your feedback on it ! Don’t hesitate to tell me if you see something very strange.
A new step in my life …
At the beginning of this year (2020), I became a father of two lovely twin girls, the most beautiful thing that happened in my life.
In this particular context of coronavirus disease spreading across the world, I felt fortunate and got the chance to stay closer to my babies. During this new step in my life, I truly understand what is “task switching”. Despite the difficulties to respond to their needs and task switchings, I made a wonderful progress. In this new situation, you are exposed to many issues and when some of them occur, you need to understand what are their needs to find the best solution and to solve it !
Being patient, emphatic and humble are keys
Being patient …
You have to test, test and test several more solutions until you find one that will match and fit perfectly the situation. May be at the beginning, you will use a bazooka to kill the bug, but after several attempts, you should use a smaller thing. The learning curve grows significantly ! You must find the solution by trying several ways and don’t forget, you can make errors, you should make errors ! It doesn’t really matter. These are parts of the learning path.
Being emphatic …
Don’t get crazy, keep calm and be cool. Keep in mind that if you are tired, they’re babies and they need you. You are their hands, you are their voice.
Being humble …
You don’t know everything ! Do not hesitate to ask for help. You are not alone, other people have already been in your situation. Open-mindedness is a great idea to keep a positive mindset.
Moreover, if you do not find a way to solve the problem, being humble and asking help are the most beautiful soft skills you should have in this situation.
Hot conflicts vs cold reactions
Avoid hot conflicts and prefer cold reactions. The ability to postpone reaction to avoid behavior that not match the situation is a tool you should use. Thanks to that, you do not increase the risk that the situation gets out of control. Trust me, asynchronous thinking allow avoiding conflict and adopting the good move and relativism. You must find a solution, so don’t add oil on the fire. When all is bad, focus on your baby’s smiles and you will see the sun after the storm !
The same thing applies on your job, if you have the ability to show the sun after difficulties and have a positive prism, people around you should be feeling better.
Keep learning and be up to date
Keep learning to know how to solve problems. Like in your job, increasing your knowledge is required to adopt good move and good behavior for positives attitudes. If you keep growing, you will be able to test something new.
It is always better if you know which behavior you should adopt rather than being faced with a situation you don’t understand.
Congratulate and say thanks to your team
Communication is the priority ! Share your feelings if you need to say something because it is always better to speak together to decrease tension, to solve the problem and go ahead in the same direction. When you see things that you don’t appreciate, don’t hesitate to speak about that, this will unlock some situations and ensure team spirit.
You shouldn’t tell only the bad. By also telling the good, you will open some doors that your partner will appreciate.
You are accountable for your happiness
Keep the direction, don’t forget is not the destination, it’s the way that is important. I don’t know where we go, but I appreciate a lot, and by trying to adopt this good behavior I love the path we take. Make something huge in your personal life, it will inevitably impact your professional life and will shine positively on others.
Community and sharing
Being a young father gave me a different vision of the world ! It’s like some guy give me glasses and now I understand all parents that I meet : “I know now”.
But don’t forget, be empathic and humble. Do not hesitate to share your experience with all people. May be someone (and certainly) have the same problems, and it is always soothing to see we are not alone in this situation.
Conclusion
These are why being a twin girls father has improved my work as a lead developer. By trying to be patient, emphatic, humble, by communicating and avoiding hot conflicts, by learning and being up to date, by always congratulating and saying thanks to my team, by trying to adopt good move and positive behavior, by sharing my knowledge, I am trying to be happy and have a positive impact on the people I meet on my journey.
